Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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