Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
