I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
