So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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