I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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