I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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