I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
