But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize