My room smells like vodka and shame
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
