I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
