I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
