I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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