this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
