My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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