it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
