White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
