She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
