Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
