he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
