She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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