How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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