First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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