After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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