mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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