On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
