Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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