i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
