If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
