Whod you bang
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
