dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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