ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
