Your face is a jimmy john
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
