dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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