I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
MIDGETS
????
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
