yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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