I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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