i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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