He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
