i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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