quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
