Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
