i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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