we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
