How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
