Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
