This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize