I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
