did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
