I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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