dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
