BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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