IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
