bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
