And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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