Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
