nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
