A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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