that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
