let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She needs sedatives and a leash
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
