so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
