All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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