just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
