Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
operation have a gay friend backfired
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she peed on how many people?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Randomize