im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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