Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
