Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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