I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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