is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
