I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im having a threesome with these popsicles
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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